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WARNING - Literary Brainteaser Ahead! (No pun intended...)

If you're not familiar with the Tom Swifty, it's a type of pun that can be addictive once you start writing a few of your own.

Send me your own Swifty if you think up a good one?  I'll add your gem to the list.

Some examples:

"Don't you dare shoot that rubberband at me!" she snapped.

"I just got another flat," he said tiredly.

"Will you quit rustling around in my closet!" said Leif.

"Who was in the sauna with you while I was at work today?" she asked hotly.

"Unlike you, I've always been a dog person," he barked.

"Watch out for that broken glass!" she said sharply.

"This pencil tip is dull," she said pointedly.

"I wouldn't mind going with you to the tennis match," she said gamely.

"Some of my windows were broken in the storm," he said, pained.

"I don't like going to museums," he said artlessly.

"My cat George is my dearest friend," Tabitha purred.


Courtesy of Michael Blank:

"I'd better repeat that SOS message," he said remorsefully.

"That bird is bald and sick," she said illegally.

"I'll sue your ass again," was his retort.

"I have a BA in social work," she said with a degree of concern.

"I hope I can even still play the guitar," he fretted.


Courtesy of Philip Graham:


“Your tears simply do not affect me,” he observed dryly.
“The food here is terrible,” he muttered, swallowing his words.
“I agree,” she replied, “even the vegetables are overcooked!" she steamed.
“Sorry about that butt call,” he said cheekily.
“Everything in Texas is bigger,” he said in measured tones.  “Even the cowboys,” he continued hoarsely.
“The phone reception here is excellent,” he said clearly.



Courtesy of Ruth Hutchison:

"I really don't like tending the garden," he said witheringly.


Courtesy of Tony Ellis:

"I really like hot dogs," he said with relish.

"You dance just like Fred Astaire," she said gingerly. 

"That's not how you draw a circle," he criticized her roundly.


Courtesy of Gerald Dowd:

"Is your skin always that dry?" he cracked.

"I can't believe you drank all the merlot!" she whined.


Courtesy of Randolph Gray:

"Because you're concave and I'm convex," he remarked pointedly.


Courtesy of Raymond Chandler:

"I just love grapefruit," she said tartly.